Every Team’s Keys to Success

NFC North

Packers

Keep Aaron healthy and playing and you’ll win that average division. That’s all.

Bears

Pick a QB and stick with them. All you need if you’re the bears is a game manager, the defense is solid so don’t try to make a rookie or a average QB become Mahomes.

Lions

Just work on scouting for next year’s draft…

Vikings

Get your starters back into the rhythm, and hopefully that haven’t lost too much from last season. Work on building cohesion in the secondary, right now they’re getting gashed by stupid plays.

AFC North

Steelers

Run the damn ball. Keep Ben’s pitch count low so he doesn’t gas out in the playoffs.

Browns

Spread the ball around, don’t try to force the ball to Jarvis or OBJ, but make sure they’re all regarded as threats and you’ll free up Baker to work in the pocket.

Ravens

Keep Lamar and the offensive linemen healthy, and try to keep their pitch count low too. If you run 70% of your snaps you’ll be tired and injured in the playoffs.

Bengals

Get your young core some reps and lockdown Bates to a long contract make sure you’re setting up your squad for your next few years. 2021 isn’t going to be y’all’s year, but you can take steps to dethrone the Steelers.

NFC South

Saints

Idk what to say about the Saints… they look alright so far, but they have to clean up the turnovers. It’ll depend on which Winston shows up on Sundays this year.

Buccaneers

Fuck it. Run it back. Change nothing.

Panthers

Hire the ghostbusters to keep the ghosts away from Darnold.

Falcons

Hope that Kyle Pitts was worth not reloading on defense, and hope that you don’t regret giving away Julio. And hope that my man E. Thompson can prove himself as a top linebacker on the depth chart.

AFC South

Titans

Keep Henry healthy, and try to get the ball outside the hashes to get that extra man out of the box.

Colts

idk bruh…hopefully your QB can stay upright because no matter how good the roster is, Wentz finds a way to break himself. Now that he isn’t an Eagle, I’m kinda rooting for him to start and finish a season.

Texans

Sell the team. Move them. Then rename them.

Jaguars

Let Lawrence develop and don’t put 12 win pressure on him, it’ll be a process.

NFC West

Seahawks

Hopefully nobody figures out the Seahawks are frauds.

Rams

Let Stafford cook, and let the defense support him. The hometown boy out of Highland Park is in the best situation of his career.

Cardinals

Hopefully JJ can give you more sacks than he had last year (0). Hopefully AJ can produce something. The Cards were regular season hype, but not enough to produce wins, and they better hope they didn’t waste money on free agents that are washed.

49ers

Stick with Jimmy G this season.

AFC West

Chiefs

Study the Buccs and Ravens because those are the only guys who may give you fits in the playoffs.

Raiders

It is kind of win now for Gruden. He’s had 4 years of his process and all of the probowlers from years past are gone, and Gruden has gotten a dozen picks for them, time to see something. If not find a new coach.

Chargers

Hope that benching the sophomore QB doesn’t make his sophomore slump worse. Otherwise let the man cook.

Broncos

Pick a QB and stick with the man. Hope that your defense is improved.

NFC East

Eagles

Don’t change a thing and let the Boys give you that work.

Giants

See Eagles

But honestly, Danny Dimes can’t keep turning over the ball all game every game.

Football Teams

See Eagles

Figure out how to harness Fitzmagic all season.

Cowboys

Keep Dak healthy and up the defensive game.

AFC East

Bills

Draw up some plays for the playoffs because y’all have the make up of a Super Bowl team, but damn y’all choke in the playoffs. I’ll be pulling for the Bills as long as the Star isn’t lined up against them.

Dolphins

Up the offense, because Flores has a solid defensive scheme.

Patriots

Bench Cam.

Jets

idk man…figure it out? I’m sure you could ask all the classic coaches for a solution and they’d be stumped.

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